Showing posts with label Child Rearing Tips. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Child Rearing Tips. Show all posts

Friday, May 25, 2018

Parenting with Random Intentionality - IDP009 Podcast with Shownotes and Links

How imperfect best efforts yield results over time


Today's podcast ended up being a huge boost to my day as I considered the long-range effects of random best efforts, consistently applied over time. If you're frustrated with the daily "drudge" of parenting and feel like your efforts aren't making any difference, this message is for you!



Shownotes


Here's what I was listening to this morning that sparked today's thoughts about random intentionality (such a fun concept!): A Slob Comes Clean 014 Husbands and Decluttering Podcast

Here's a related blog post by Dana White that I referred to in today's podcast:

Definitions from today's podcast:


"Randomness is the lack of pattern or predictability in events.[1] A random sequence of events, symbols or steps has no order and does not follow an intelligible pattern or combination." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Randomness

"Intention is a mental state that represents a commitment to carrying out an action or actions in the future. Intention involves mental activities such as planning and forethought." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intention

"Intentionality is a philosophical concept and is defined by the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy as "the power of minds to be about, to represent, or to stand for, things, properties and states of affairs." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intentionality

My definition of random intentionality as it relates to parenting:
Random intentionality in parenting is having a long-range view of the values you want to teach your children, and striving to teach those consistently over time in a variety of fun and ever-changing ways. Remember that inconsistent intentionality is ever so much better than no intentionality at all.

Having fun with my kids while teaching about using cleansing face masks for healthy skin!


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I love this poem that I heard when I was a child, and many times over the years.


"The Race" by D.H. Groberg

“Quit! Give up! You’re beaten!” they shout at me, and plead. 
“There’s just too much against you now, this time you can’t succeed.”
And as I start to hang my head in front of failure’s face, 
My downward fall is broken by the memory of a race. 
And hope refills my weakened will, as I recall that scene, 
For just the thought of that short race rejuvenates my being.

They all lined up so full of hope, each thought to win that race. 
Or tie for first, or if not that, at least take second place. 
And fathers watched from off the side, each cheering for his son, 
And each boy hoped to show his dad, that he would be the one.

The whistle blew, and off they went, young hearts and hopes afire, 
To win and be the hero there was each young boy’s desire. 
And one boy in particular, whose dad was in the crowd, 
Was running near the head, and thought, “My dad will be so proud!”
But as he fell, his dad stood up, and showed his anxious face, 
Which to the boy so clearly said, “Get up and win the race.” 

He quickly rose, no damage done, behind a bit, that’s all, 
And ran with all his mind and might to make up for his fall.
So anxious to restore himself, to catch up and to win, 
His mind went faster than his legs; he slipped and fell again!

He wished then he had quit before with only one disgrace. 
“I’m hopeless as a runner now, I shouldn’t try to race.”
But in the laughing crowd he searched, and found his father’s face, 
that steady look that said again, “Get up and win the race!”

So up he jumped to try again, ten yards behind the last, 
“If I’m to gain those yards,” he thought, “I’ve got to move real fast.”
Exceeding everything he had he gained back eight or ten, 
But trying so to catch the lead, he slipped and fell again.

Defeat! He lay there silently, a tear dropped from his eye. 
“There is no sense in running more. Three strikes, I’m out, why try?”
The will to rise had disappeared, all hope had fled away. 
So far behind, so error prone, a loser all the way.

“I’ve lost, so what’s the use,” he thought, “I’ll live with my disgrace.” 
But then he thought about his dad, who soon he’d have to face.
“Get up!” an echo sounded low, “Get up, and take your place. 
You were not meant for failure here, get up and win the race.”
“With borrowed will, get up,” it said, “You have not lost at all. 
For winning is no more than this: to rise each time you fall.”

So up he rose to run once more, and with a new commit, 
He resolved that win or lose, at least he wouldn’t quit.
So far behind the others now, the most he’d ever been, 
Still he gave it all he had, and ran as though to win.
Three times he’d fallen stumbling, three times he’d rose again, 
Too far behind to hope to win he still ran to the end. 

They cheered the winning runner, as he crossed the line first place. 
Head high and proud and happy, no falling, no disgrace. 
But when the fallen youngster crossed the finish line last place, 
The crowd gave him the greater cheer for finishing the race.

And even though he came in last, with head bowed low, unproud, 
You would have thought he won the race to listen to the crowd.
And to his dad, he sadly said, “I didn’t do so well.” 
“To me you won!” his father said, “You rose each time you fell.”

And when things seem dark and hard, and difficult to face, 
The memory of that little boy helps me to win my race. 
For all of life is like that race, with ups and downs and all, 
And all you have to do to win is rise each time you fall.

“Quit! Give up! You’re beaten!” they still shout in my face. 
But another voice within me says: “GET UP AND WIN THE RACE!”

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Here's a fun dramatized video based on "The Race":


Love it!!! 😍😍😍


Have a wonderful weekend!
~JS~ 🌞
#FamilyFriday

Friday, February 28, 2014

Teach Kids About Internet Safety and Digital Manners

I just found this fantastic site created by Common Sense Media that teaches kids about online safety and digital manners in a fun game-like atmosphere. I've been playing a few of the games myself for the past hour or so! :)


digitalpassport.org
I am so grateful for companies that create things like this to help parents teach and protect our children. Thank you Common Sense Media!

Check it out!

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Best Blog Post Award: "To Moms of One or Two Children" by Sarah Short

This woman has such a gift with words. . . what a perfect answer for those who wonder how to get through it all when they are struggling as a new parent! I wish I had been able to think of something this clever to say when I was asked "How do you do it all?" by other mothers again and again as I was raising my crew! :)

 My short-and-true-but-not-nearly-as-helpful answer was: "I just. . . do it. . . I don't have any other choice!" :) 


Read Sarah's answer to this frequently asked question by clicking on the title below:


by Sarah Short, author of www.shortstopblog.com 

My comment on her post:

Sarah, Thank you for your beautiful post! 

I have seven wonderful and amazing children who are growing up right before my eyes, so I've "been there, done that." When #6 was born and my oldest was only 10, I thought, "What in the world have I done? This is crazy!! We. Are. Completely. Insane." But just like you said, I grew into it, and God helped me through. And I even found room in my heart for one more. 

Today, my oldest is 21 and my youngest is 8 and it is a completely different world. Not an overwhelming, bone-numbing physical strain like before, but a fierce emotional time with teenagers finding their way, and young adults trying to learn how to make it on their own. I am so grateful to the women in my life who were such amazing, supportive examples. 

You are so right that it is important to find YOUR OWN WAY as a parent and not worry about what other people think. When I discovered that, and truly began to live it, that's when true peace came and overwhelming happiness in whatever stage of parenting I was in.

Friday, March 29, 2013

How to Wean a Toddler from their Precious Binky. . . (or "passie", as we always called it!)


A friend asked this on Facebook, and I realized I do have a few gems to share after raising 7 children. (Although I'll admit that the more kids I had, the more I figured out how little I actually knew!) But here's a strategy that worked for us with 5 of our kids who became somewhat "binky dependent" over those first couple of years. . . I'll tell ya though, those binkies are a lifesaver!

And I know people have concerns about teeth growing crooked and yada yada yada, but out of 7 children, only two of mine so far have been candidates for braces (One is just now completing invisalign at age 19, the second will probably start sometime this year at age 16). I have seen absolutely no correlation between teeth problems and those who used binkies or not. So that's my anecdotal evidence anyway. ;)

Fer Cute! - On My Mind BPA-free Pacifiers - Available at Amazon.com
Question:
"Ok moms, I wanna know... How did you take away your baby's binky? It's only been the last few months that JW has become really, REALLY attached, because of teething. Now he has his top teeth, and I want the bink to go bye, bye." - Nellie Edmonds, Utah

Jumbled Sunshine Answer:
We used a "binky leash" to pin the passie to the pillow with a safety diaper pin. Make sure it's long enough they can lay there in bed with it and short enough that they can't get it wrapped around their neck. I made my own by braiding some yarn. This way the child can only have it at naptime and bedtime. (Just be aware that a clever toddler may start carrying the pillow around the house to have their precious binky/passie along at all time, haha! We resorted to pinning the pillow to the toddler mattress with one of our kids, haha!)

It's a good compromise - the passie is still there if they really need it emotionally, but it's a little bit of a hassle for them to go find it. This way they only use it when they really really need it the most. (Usually bedtime). Although funny thing - one of our more emotional daughters would run to her bedroom whenever she was upset and lay there sucking on her passie to comfort herself, then come back out when she was happy - it worked rather well, actually. hee hee

Anyway, after a few weeks/months of this routine, when you think the child has gotten to the point to not be totally dependent on it during the day, choose an out-of-town weekend when the binky gets "accidentally" left at home on the pillow. (You can take one hidden in your bag if you are worried about your sanity on the trip, lol.) Chances are, the child will do fine all weekend long, which is the sign that they are ready to give it up.

So - when you pull into the driveway at the end of the trip, one parents runs inside and takes the passie off the pillow. The child has likely forgotten about it after a couple days "binky-free". Worked for us. . . let's see. . . five times!

Love the "snooze button" and "volume control" ones!
So true.
On My Mind BPA-free Pacifiers - Available at Amazon.com

The worst response we ever had was a child saying, "Where passie?" when we got home. After expressing an appropriate level of surprise that it was missing (without directly lying of course, haha), I explained to the child at her own level that since she hadn't used it all weekend, it was clear that she was a big girl now and didn't need it anymore. I offered her blanket and some hugs, and that was that!

Oh yeah, I feel like the passie master right now! :D

Have a great day all you Mommies and Daddies!