Focus on the Moment

Ain't it the truth though? 😂 

But seriously, let's all try to remember the people around us and focus on what's truly important!
♥️ ~JS~  
#TechTuesday 

(Thanks to Peter Urmston for the laugh today!)

Parenting with Random Intentionality - IDP009 Podcast with Shownotes and Links

How imperfect best efforts yield results over time

Today's podcast ended up being a huge boost to my day as I considered the long-range effects of random best efforts, consistently applied over time. If you're frustrated with the daily "drudge" of parenting and feel like your efforts aren't making any difference, this message is for you!

Shownotes

Here's what I was listening to this morning that sparked today's thoughts about random intentionality (such a fun concept!): A Slob Comes Clean 014 Husbands and Decluttering Podcast

Here's a related blog post by Dana White that I referred to in today's podcast:

Family Pick-Up Time (Or The Benefits of Random Intentionality)

Definitions from today's podcast:

"Randomness is the lack of pattern or predictability in events.[1] A random sequence of events, symbols or steps has no order and does not follow an intelligible pattern or combination." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Randomness

"Intention is a mental state that represents a commitment to carrying out an action or actions in the future. Intention involves mental activities such as planning and forethought." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intention

"Intentionality is a philosophical concept and is defined by the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy as "the power of minds to be about, to represent, or to stand for, things, properties and states of affairs." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intentionality

My definition of random intentionality as it relates to parenting:
Random intentionality in parenting is having a long-range view of the values you want to teach your children, and striving to teach those consistently over time in a variety of fun and ever-changing ways. Remember that inconsistent intentionality is ever so much better than no intentionality at all.

Having fun with my kids while teaching about using cleansing face masks for healthy skin!

----

I love this poem that I heard when I was a child, and many times over the years.

"The Race" by D.H. Groberg

“Quit! Give up! You’re beaten!” they shout at me, and plead. 

“There’s just too much against you now, this time you can’t succeed.”

And as I start to hang my head in front of failure’s face, 

My downward fall is broken by the memory of a race. 

And hope refills my weakened will, as I recall that scene, 

For just the thought of that short race rejuvenates my being.

They all lined up so full of hope, each thought to win that race. 

Or tie for first, or if not that, at least take second place. 

And fathers watched from off the side, each cheering for his son, 

And each boy hoped to show his dad, that he would be the one.

The whistle blew, and off they went, young hearts and hopes afire, 

To win and be the hero there was each young boy’s desire. 

And one boy in particular, whose dad was in the crowd, 

Was running near the head, and thought, “My dad will be so proud!”

But as he fell, his dad stood up, and showed his anxious face, 

Which to the boy so clearly said, “Get up and win the race.” 

He quickly rose, no damage done, behind a bit, that’s all, 

And ran with all his mind and might to make up for his fall.

So anxious to restore himself, to catch up and to win, 

His mind went faster than his legs; he slipped and fell again!

He wished then he had quit before with only one disgrace. 

“I’m hopeless as a runner now, I shouldn’t try to race.”

But in the laughing crowd he searched, and found his father’s face, 

that steady look that said again, “Get up and win the race!”

So up he jumped to try again, ten yards behind the last, 

“If I’m to gain those yards,” he thought, “I’ve got to move real fast.”

Exceeding everything he had he gained back eight or ten, 

But trying so to catch the lead, he slipped and fell again.

Defeat! He lay there silently, a tear dropped from his eye. 

“There is no sense in running more. Three strikes, I’m out, why try?”

The will to rise had disappeared, all hope had fled away. 

So far behind, so error prone, a loser all the way.

“I’ve lost, so what’s the use,” he thought, “I’ll live with my disgrace.” 

But then he thought about his dad, who soon he’d have to face.

“Get up!” an echo sounded low, “Get up, and take your place. 

You were not meant for failure here, get up and win the race.”

“With borrowed will, get up,” it said, “You have not lost at all. 

For winning is no more than this: to rise each time you fall.”

So up he rose to run once more, and with a new commit, 

He resolved that win or lose, at least he wouldn’t quit.

So far behind the others now, the most he’d ever been, 

Still he gave it all he had, and ran as though to win.

Three times he’d fallen stumbling, three times he’d rose again, 

Too far behind to hope to win he still ran to the end. 

They cheered the winning runner, as he crossed the line first place. 

Head high and proud and happy, no falling, no disgrace. 

But when the fallen youngster crossed the finish line last place, 

The crowd gave him the greater cheer for finishing the race.

And even though he came in last, with head bowed low, unproud, 

You would have thought he won the race to listen to the crowd.

And to his dad, he sadly said, “I didn’t do so well.” 

“To me you won!” his father said, “You rose each time you fell.”

And when things seem dark and hard, and difficult to face, 

The memory of that little boy helps me to win my race. 

For all of life is like that race, with ups and downs and all, 

And all you have to do to win is rise each time you fall.

“Quit! Give up! You’re beaten!” they still shout in my face. 

But another voice within me says: “GET UP AND WIN THE RACE!”

----------------------------

Here's a fun dramatized video based on "The Race":

Love it!!! 😍😍😍


Have a wonderful weekend!
~JS~ 🌞
#FamilyFriday

Happy Mother's Day Mom - I Miss You!

Happy Mother's Day to the original Jumbled Sunshine. 💕🌞🕊️ #SacredSunday
#godbewithyou #tillwemeetagain

What Happens in Your House?

"You must read to your children and you must hug your children and you must love your children. Your success as a family, our success as a society, depends not on what happens in the White House, but in what happens inside your house." - Barbara Bush

Happy #FamilyFriday!
~JS~ 🌞

Go Tell Your Child That You Love Them. Seriously, do it now!

"Your kids being rooted in your love is important, and you can’t take for granted that they KNOW that’s how you feel. In the advertising industry, you are told that it takes people seven times to hear a message about your product before they buy it. Yet I have friends who tell me (especially men) that they can count on one hand the number of times their parents (usually their dads) told them they loved them ... Don’t be one of these parents."

"It is your parental duty to uplift your children and make them confident individuals so that they can be productive citizens of the world ... That, in turn, makes this planet a better place to live! On top of that, if they love themselves, they will be better equipped to have healthy, loving relationships with someone else. And don’t we want that for our children?"

💖 - Powerful Penny - bit.ly/SayItMore

I love this! 😍 And I love my awesome kids who make my life so much richer than I ever imagined. I'm committing to tell them each individually by the end of the day. Are you with me?

 ~JS~ 🌞
#FamilyFriday

The Wisest Person I Ever Met - Inspiring Speech!

For #MotivationMonday today, I wanted to share with you this awesome video of a commencement speech that I came across last night. It is just so inspiring and I encourage you to watch the entire thing! There were so many amazing concepts presented in this speech that I'm not sure how I can narrow it down to the most impactful ones. But here are just a few, followed by the embedded video published by Goalcast on YouTube.

• The first one is the idea of combining knowledge and wisdom to make an impact. He calls his father a "simple cook" and refers to his father as a third grade dropout. I know he's using that term for impact, but I wouldn't use the term dropout to describe this incredible man who left third grade to help out on the family farm because he was needed. I would call that sacrificing oneself for the good of others, for the good of your family.

• I love the quote by Mark Twain: "I've never allowed my schooling to get in the way of my education." Despite being someone who has finished a college bachelor's degree myself, and though I have been married for nearly 27 years to someone who has two post-graduate degrees, I fully realize that formal education is not the only way to educate oneself. While it does provide a framework of stepping stones that can help you to "become educated" (whatever that really means) by those who have gone before you and know something about what types of things you need to learn to understand about the field you are going into, learning is not about attending classes per se, or getting a bunch of letters behind your name. Education is really more about having a thirst for knowledge and continually seeking it out each and every day. This small habit of being curious and exploring the world around you, and learning with an open mind about everything around you is how you will prepare yourself for everything that will come your way, and prepare you to teach the next generation.

• The next amazing principle in this speech is the idea of challenging oneself each and every day to be the best that you can be. This can be tough order to fill, because sometimes we just don't feel motivated to be motivated! This is part of why I created #MotivationMonday, because I need the motivation myself! But it's so important, in the word's of Dori from Finding Nemo, to just keep swimming! Never, ever give up is another lesson we learn from this speech in a very powerful way.

• The speaker's father taught him, "I won't have a problem if you aim high and miss, but I'll have a real problem if you aim low and hit." What great advice! It's important to reach high enough to stretch yourself so that you can become a little bit better every single day. 

• Aristotle said, "You are what you repeatedly do." I learned this in another setting just yesterday when I heard a speaker explain how over time, all of the seemingly insignificant, private decisions that we make over and over, can shape our lives. Thousands of little positive habits, when made consistently over time, can lift us to great things.

• The next quote I really like is, "I know you're tough, but don't ever forget to be kind." It's one of those things you learn in primary school, "Remember this, kindness begins with me!"

There are so many more great quotes and principles in this talk that I just don't have time to share them all! I encourage you to watch it all the way through, think about the truths that speak to your heart, and resolve to take just one of them and integrate it into your day today.

Go make today a great one!
~JS~ 🌞

 

Strategy for a Happy Life

Here is today's #StrategySaturday post,  a reminder to look for happiness in whatever life brings. Reprinted with permission from: https://happinessisajourney.com
~JS~ 

*****

Happiness is a Journey, by Crystal Boyd

We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we’re frustrated that the kids aren’t old enough and we’ll be more content when they are. After that, we’re frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with. We’ll certainly be happy when they’re out of that stage.

We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, are able to go on a nice vacation, when we retire.

The truth is, there’s no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when?

Your life will always be filled with challenges. It’s best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway.

One of my favorite quotes comes from Alfred D. Souza. He said, “For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin – real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, or a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.”

This perspective has helped me to see that there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. So, treasure every moment that you have and treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time with…and remember that time waits for no one.

So, stop waiting until you finish school, until you go back to school, until you lose ten pounds, until you gain ten pounds, until you have kids, until your kids leave the house, until you start work, until you retire, until you get married, until you get divorced, until Friday night, until Sunday morning, until you get a new car or home, until your car or home is paid off, until spring, until summer, until fall, until winter, until you’re off welfare, until the first or fifteenth, until your song comes on, until you’ve had a drink, until you’ve sobered up, until you die, until you’re born again to decide that there is no better time than right now to be happy.

Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

*My youngest son holding my first grandson.*

"This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things!"

Today for #FamilyFriday I have a little story to share. This morning, as I was going about my business as usual, I walked past a table in my living room and glanced at the beautiful wooden animal carvings that my husband had brought home from Africa.

Here's what the carvings look like from a distance.

But then, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that something was amiss with one of the carvings. At first I just kept walking by, thinking briefly, "Hmm, I wonder what that is?"

Can you see it? 

But then it kind of sank in, and I stopped suddenly and turned around, thinking to myself, "Wait a minute, what WAS that?!?" As I headed back towards the table and looked more closely, I couldn't believe what I saw!

“Lego Man Gets Skewered by Wild African Mammal!” 

Yikes!! This just really made me laugh because this is what day-to-day life with a family is like! 🤣 When crazy things like this happen, you have two choices. You can look at it and say, "Oh my gosh, one of my kids ruined this carving. My kids ruin everything! This is why we can’t have nice things!"

Or... you could look at the situation and think to yourself, "You know, there's somebody living in this house, who I love, who has a great sense of humor and put that there because they thought it was funny. And it is funny! And if it scratched the carving, who cares! I can get another one another time. But I can never replace my child.”

This is what I chose to do this morning. I chuckled to myself and felt grateful for the uniqueness of family life. I walked away, leaving Lego Man just where he was, as a reminder of the fact that I am blessed to have all these special little people in my life. ❤

Happy #FamilyFriday everyone!
~JS~ 🌞

What We Have Here is a Failure to Communicate!

This meme made me laugh!! 😂

[Photo credit: www.facebook.com/MyHusbandIsMyBestFriend]

Okay so we all know that this picture is exaggerating... but it's true that husbands and wives need to realize that their brains may process things differently! In my personal experience, I've found that my husband will focus on one idea at a time and I'll be bouncing all over, making connections, seeing a big grand picture in my mind. And it's so exciting! (so I go on...) "And this! And that! And the other!!"

But then I suddenly realize that he hasn't said anything for awhile and stop to ask him what he thinks. Turns out that he had formulated a response for the first thing I brought up and was waiting to say that, but it was now irrelevant because I have gone through ten more subjects since then. 🤣 So at this point he has ten different possible responses, and he's trying to decide which one to comment on. (silence... thinking... silence...)

In my excited enthusiasm (and lack of patience) I see his hesitancy as not having a response at all, so I start up again to fill the void... and leave him in the dust again! And the cycle repeats. Or at some point I may stop and be like, "How come you're not interested? This is exciting!!" But the poor man is just trying to keep up with the topic changes!!

As Jed Clampett once said on the Beverly Hillbillies, "What we have here is a failure to communicate!!" (This is one of my husband's favorite quotes. For context, just watch this funny video clip from 1:00 to 2:30. )

When communicating with my husband, no matter how enthusiastic I am, if I want him to participate in the conversation, I have had to learn to slow down and WAIT (and even count to ten in my head!) and patiently give him time to comment, one subject at a time. (It's so hard!!!) But it's amazing how much better we communicate when I do this! And he has had to learn to comment OUT LOUD, not just in his head haha. 🤔

It's a process! But it's worth it to take the time to learn how your spouse communicates and help him understand how you communicate, and then work hard on improving your interactions. Mostly it just takes understanding, love and patience. 💖

What can you do to better understand your spouse today?
Make it a priority for #FamilyFriday!
~JS~ 🌞

A Tribute to My Mom (The Original "Jumbled Sunshine") On Her Special Day

Well, I started out this morning with a giant SIGH. Why? Because today is the anniversary of Mom's birthday. If she had not succumbed to the effects of heart disease, she would have turned 68 years old today. Instead, we lost her on November 5th, 2007, when she was only 60... So sad. :( 

As I think about how much technology has developed over the past 7 and a half years, I often think about how much Mom would have LOVED to be a part of it! She was so tech-savvy for her age all through the 80's, 90's and 2000's, and she was such a social person and so intrigued with learning information, that she would be just really enjoying where social media and blogging has led us during the past decade. 

Although, when I think about it very much, I realize that the technology where she is now has got to be SO incredible! I don't know if it's technology or just some incredible celestial power of awesomeness, but I guess what we're doing here on earth must pale in comparison. But still, from my perspective here, I would sure love to have enjoyed posting to her on Facebook, reading all the blogs she likely would have started, chatting with her through texts, and seeing all the fun interesting things she would share every day online. 

Sigh. 

Here's a great picture of Mom near the end of her life. The bright colors in the kite shop represent her so well. She was truly the original Jumbled Sunshine - I am just a shadow of her bright and vivacious personality. She is truly the wind beneath my wings. 

Bonnie McCroby Wuensche - The Original "Jumbled Sunshine" (1947 - 2007)

Funny, I'm listening to Pandora while I'm typing this, and right after I started the post, a song came up that has poignant lyrics considering the occasion. It's supposed to be about a breakup, but since I was thinking about Mom when it came on, the lyrics took on a new meaning. Here they are: 

"Walk Right Back" by the Everly Brothers:

I want you to tell me why you walked out on me
I'm so lonesome everyday
I want you to know that since you walked out on me
Nothin' seems to be the same old way
Think about the love that burns within my heart for you
The good times we had before you went away, oh me

Walk right back to me this minute, 
Bring your love to me, don't send it,
I'm so lonesome everyday

I want you to tell me why you walked out on me
I'm so lonesome everyday
I want you to know that since you walked out on me
Nothin' seems to be the same old way
Think about the love that burns within my heart for you
The good times we had before you went away, oh me

Walk right back to me this minute
Bring your love to me, don't send it
I'm so lonesome everyday...

Love you Mom! I am so lonesome without you. Thanks so much for giving me life and a loving home in which to be born and grow up. Though our home life wasn't always perfect (whose is?), I have extremely wonderful and affectionate memories of all the time I spent with you and Dad and Eric, Muffy, George, and Ruben. My favorite times were those occasions when we did fun things together as a family - going fishing, ice skating, roller skating, sledding, watching TV together as a family on the weekends, and going on Sunday drives in the countryside. 

Our cute little family in 1976.
L to R, back to front: Jay, Bonnie, Maureen (Muffy), George, Erika (me) and Eric.

I even fondly remember working and weeding in the garden together (though I complained incessantly at the time!) and then gathering our bounteous harvest and prepping it together as a family. I remember snapping green beans (and eating them raw!) and canning tomato sauce for Dad's famous spaghetti. The raw tomatoes always gave me a rash on my hand while we worked, haha, so I could find a convenient way to get out of the work when I was tired of it. :) 

One of the most adventurous times was when I came home from school only to find that you had knocked down a wall with a sledgehammer (haha!), and we all had to chip in to help you and Dad rebuild the room layout according to your newly designed plans. :) There was always a fun building project going on at our house, so I learned to love the smell of sawdust when I was a child, and that fresh smell still makes me nostalgic to this day. 

I loved to see your mind work as you'd pick out new paint colors, fabrics and furniture to redecorate our home according to the latest trend. I still love perusing decorating materials, furniture stores, and antique shops, and I think of you every time I do.

Why I Love the Miss Genola Program

Last year three of my daughters participated in the Miss Genola Program, one as a "Miss Genola" contestant, one as a Junior Miss participant, and one as a committee member. We were all hesitant to get involved at first, because I have never been in a "pageant" in my life, I've never had a desire to do so, and my girls have pretty much followed my lead on that.

However, last winter my oldest daughter, Jessica, was asked by Kristy Green, to participate on the Miss Genola committee. Jessica loves Sister Green so readily agreed to help. When she heard what the program was going to be all about, she said to herself, "Now THAT'S the kind of program I want to be involved with!" Once she agreed, Jessica set about to convince her sisters that they should all participate. She got a lot of push-back, because... well, I already told you why - we just don't do pageants.

But then Jessica mentioned to 16 year old Katilyn that there would be a scholarship for the winners of the program. This started to get our attention a little! So, we decided to go to the Introductory Brunch and see what it was all about. By the time we left, we were psyched about participating in Miss Genola! 

Why? I'll tell you why! This is no ordinary program!

In fact, it's not really a typical pageant at all, in the sense that many of us think of pageants. First of all, it's very far removed from being a "beauty" pageant, because the contestants' scores are based only 10% on appearance. Yeah. Really! No swimming suits, no prancing about, no immodest attire. In fact, the program focuses primarily on inner beauty, service, building strength, and developing friendships. 

If it's not a Typical Beauty Pageant, then What's it All About?

Well let me tell you about one of our gatherings, and you decide for yourself.

Teach Kids About Internet Safety and Digital Manners

I just found this fantastic site created by Common Sense Media that teaches kids about online safety and digital manners in a fun game-like atmosphere. I've been playing a few of the games myself for the past hour or so! :)

digitalpassport.org

I am so grateful for companies that create things like this to help parents teach and protect our children. Thank you Common Sense Media!

Check it out!

digitalpassport.org

Best Blog Post Award: "To Moms of One or Two Children" by Sarah Short

This woman has such a gift with words. . . what a perfect answer for those who wonder how to get through it all when they are struggling as a new parent! I wish I had been able to think of something this clever to say when I was asked "How do you do it all?" by other mothers again and again as I was raising my crew! :)

 My short-and-true-but-not-nearly-as-helpful answer was: "I just. . . do it. . . I don't have any other choice!" :) 

Read Sarah's answer to this frequently asked question by clicking on the title below:

To Moms of One or Two Children

by Sarah Short, author of www.shortstopblog.com 

My comment on her post:

Sarah, Thank you for your beautiful post! 

I have seven wonderful and amazing children who are growing up right before my eyes, so I've "been there, done that." When #6 was born and my oldest was only 10, I thought, "What in the world have I done? This is crazy!! We. Are. Completely. Insane." But just like you said, I grew into it, and God helped me through. And I even found room in my heart for one more. 

Today, my oldest is 21 and my youngest is 8 and it is a completely different world. Not an overwhelming, bone-numbing physical strain like before, but a fierce emotional time with teenagers finding their way, and young adults trying to learn how to make it on their own. I am so grateful to the women in my life who were such amazing, supportive examples. 

You are so right that it is important to find YOUR OWN WAY as a parent and not worry about what other people think. When I discovered that, and truly began to live it, that's when true peace came and overwhelming happiness in whatever stage of parenting I was in.

How to Wean a Toddler from their Precious Binky. . . (or "passie", as we always called it!)

A friend asked this on Facebook, and I realized I do have a few gems to share after raising 7 children. (Although I'll admit that the more kids I had, the more I figured out how little I actually knew!) But here's a strategy that worked for us with 5 of our kids who became somewhat "binky dependent" over those first couple of years. . . I'll tell ya though, those binkies are a lifesaver!

And I know people have concerns about teeth growing crooked and yada yada yada, but out of 7 children, only two of mine so far have been candidates for braces (One is just now completing invisalign at age 19, the second will probably start sometime this year at age 16). I have seen absolutely no correlation between teeth problems and those who used binkies or not. So that's my anecdotal evidence anyway. ;)

Fer Cute! - On My Mind BPA-free Pacifiers - Available at Amazon.com

Question:
"Ok moms, I wanna know... How did you take away your baby's binky? It's only been the last few months that JW has become really, REALLY attached, because of teething. Now he has his top teeth, and I want the bink to go bye, bye." - Nellie Edmonds, Utah

Jumbled Sunshine Answer:
We used a "binky leash" to pin the passie to the pillow with a safety diaper pin. Make sure it's long enough they can lay there in bed with it and short enough that they can't get it wrapped around their neck. I made my own by braiding some yarn. This way the child can only have it at naptime and bedtime. (Just be aware that a clever toddler may start carrying the pillow around the house to have their precious binky/passie along at all time, haha! We resorted to pinning the pillow to the toddler mattress with one of our kids, haha!)

It's a good compromise - the passie is still there if they really need it emotionally, but it's a little bit of a hassle for them to go find it. This way they only use it when they really really need it the most. (Usually bedtime). Although funny thing - one of our more emotional daughters would run to her bedroom whenever she was upset and lay there sucking on her passie to comfort herself, then come back out when she was happy - it worked rather well, actually. hee hee

Anyway, after a few weeks/months of this routine, when you think the child has gotten to the point to not be totally dependent on it during the day, choose an out-of-town weekend when the binky gets "accidentally" left at home on the pillow. (You can take one hidden in your bag if you are worried about your sanity on the trip, lol.) Chances are, the child will do fine all weekend long, which is the sign that they are ready to give it up.

So - when you pull into the driveway at the end of the trip, one parents runs inside and takes the passie off the pillow. The child has likely forgotten about it after a couple days "binky-free". Worked for us. . . let's see. . . five times!

Love the "snooze button" and "volume control" ones!
So true.
On My Mind BPA-free Pacifiers - Available at Amazon.com

The worst response we ever had was a child saying, "Where passie?" when we got home. After expressing an appropriate level of surprise that it was missing (without directly lying of course, haha), I explained to the child at her own level that since she hadn't used it all weekend, it was clear that she was a big girl now and didn't need it anymore. I offered her blanket and some hugs, and that was that!

Oh yeah, I feel like the passie master right now! :D

Have a great day all you Mommies and Daddies!

Calendaring: A Critical Skill to Master

Today I only have a few minutes due to a very crazy several weeks. . . so I'll just go over one of the most basic and important items in time management - CALENDARING! It doesn't really matter if you use a wall calendar, a pocket calendar, a phone calendar, or an online calendar. But seriously . . . if your life is even a tiny bit busy, you need to use a calendar!

"But," you may ask, "How do I use a calendar?"

To those who have been calendaring for years, this may seem like a foolish question. But honestly, when did they ever teach you how to use a calendar in school? They *had* calendars in school, but did you ever really learn the properly way to utilize a calendar to keep your life sane and on schedule? I know that I wasn't taught it in all my years of school, including obtaining a bachelor's degree in college. I learned it on my own, as I assume everyone else who knows how to use a calendar does.

As a Freshman in college I realized there was no possible way to keep track of everything I needed to do unless I had a calendar/planner. My first "real" calendar (as in, one that I actually used consistently), was a simple little notebook with 7 days across a 2-page spread like this:

Here's how I used it: I simply wrote down assignments on the day they were due. So it would say, for instance: "DUE: Read Psych Ch 1". For each class, I would take the syllabus for the entire semester and write all assignments into the planner on the day they needed to be handed in. Then I would take large projects and break them down into smaller tasks, and lists those throughout the semester so they would be done on time. These can be marked with (parentheses) so that you know they are "optionally" due that day. This way, every day I could look ahead at the whole week and make sure I was doing all the homework I needed to have done for the next few days. I could also pencil in all the social activities, work schedule, and more, that needed to be listed for that particular week. It worked out really well for me as a student.

Once I became a mother and homemaker, I found that it was critical to have a wall calendar that everyone can see in a central location. Everyone's schedules have to go on it. We've used a wall calendar for the family for over 20 years, and here's a picture of the one we are currently using: 

This is the "Big Grid 2013 Wall Calendar" from calendars.com. Click on the picture to go to the full details online. They have it on sale for less than $4 right now since it's already March. So - good time to buy!

Anyway - It doesn't really matter what kind of calendar you use, as long as there is enough space in the little boxes for what your family has going on during an average day. I like this "Big Grid" calendar because it expands over the whole fold-out instead of taking up half the space with a picture. Don't get me wrong, I love picture calendars, but the squares are WAY too small. So I may hang blank pretty calendars around the house just to see what day it is, but we only put the schedule on our main kitchen calendar. You can get this "Big Grid" calendar at THIS LINK or click on the image above. 

Ideally, with a calendar like this being used by the family, you are going to only put your SCHEDULED EVENTS on it. Don't put "to-do's" or "job charts" on it, it will get too cluttered. Just list all appointments and other scheduled things that have to be done on a certain day. So, for instance, when you get the soccer schedule, put all the games and practices on the calendar. When you have a doctor appointment, write it on the calendar. If you always have a date with your husband on a certain night, put it on the calendar (use pencil if it's an activity that could be rescheduled if needed.) When you have someone ask you to do something for them such as babysit, or bring food to an activity, write it on the calendar! If you are not by your calendar, then you have to have a notebook or some kind of task app on your phone that you are committed to recording when you get home. (If you go electronic, it's helpful to put a little reminder on the phone so it will beep you when you are at home and remind you to put it on the family calendar). Either that, or ask the person call you back when you are at home in front of your calendar before you commit! This works wonders for just keeping track of those basic things that are on the schedule that you don't want to forget.

What I do right now for my calendaring system, is two-fold: I have the wall calendar for the family items, and I use a Google calendar online that happens to also sync automatically with my phone. This way, I have my own personal basic schedule always in front of me no matter where I go. Ideally, each week I take everything that's on the family calendar and enter it into my Google calendar, and vice versa. I say ideally because it doesn't always happen. I admit it! But it still greatly simplifies my life, because it's not too big of a deal if I have to check in two places. 

Once upon a time, I thought it might work better if *everyone* in the family had a Google calendar, thinking that this would replace the wall calendar. Honestly, it was a total failure because everyone in the family was sharing one or two computers. So when that phone call came with a new schedule, who wants to run over to the computer, start it up, wait for the calendar to load, then type it in? Right now, most of my teens have their own little calendars on the phones or computers, so some of them will update their Google calendars, which are all shared with everyone else in the family. However, for the most part, the main place they have to make sure they have recorded their schedules is on the family calendar. (Remember, this is not for personal scheduled things like a routine or when all the class periods are - the family calendar is just for the events that involve someone else in the family or events when they will be gone so everyone else needs to know about it. 

I'm sure someday we'll all have a little flat screen hanging on the wall that will be connected to the internet and can be used as a family calendar that is also visible on everyone's phones. As a matter of fact, the technology is already there, but it's not quite ready as far as being affordable and practical. So, for now, it seems best to me to have a paper one on the wall for the family, and have everyone use their own personal systems, then have one day per week (I like Sunday or Monday nights) for everyone to tell everyone else what's going on and make sure everything for the coming week is recorded on the family calendar. 

This works out really well because each person can fill in other types of things on their personal calendars. For instance, I keep track of my daily and weekly routines, my work schedule, meal plans, etc. These are all on my Google calendar under different "calendars" that can be kept separate in various colors on there. It works out well for me most of the time and keeps me on track so I don't get too distracted. Although, like you probably suspect, there are time periods when I will completely forget my online calendar and just fly by the seat of my pants. This is a good break for me from the tedium of a schedule, but it always ends up getting crazy so I fall back into the tried-and-true calendaring system.

Remember the most important rule about a calendar or a schedule - it is a TOOL to help you accomplish what needs to be done and help jog your memory about everything you have committed to. Use it to help yourself be organized, but don't ever make yourself a slave to the calendar. You scheduled all those appointments and you have the personal power to cancel them as well. If it's getting too busy, you may need to simply say, "I'm not going to be able to do that!" to one of your scheduled items. Have the courage. Trust me, it will make life much better so you don't end up with a nervous breakdown!

In our family, no matter what else happens, we never EVER stop using the family wall calendar. It is right there by the kitchen where everyone can see it, and the rule is *supposed to be* that if you don't write it on the calendar, don't plan on my driving you there. I have probably been a little lax on this, so the kids have gotten a little lazy about some of their schedules. But for the most part, we are pretty consistent, so the wall calendar can be trusted 95% of the time to at least have the most important items on it. This has saved me so much hassle. And when things aren't recorded, there is inevitably a scramble at the last minute to figure out rides and etc. 

SO - new habit for you? If you don't have a family wall calendar, I highly recommend you get one! Right now is a great time because everything for 2013 will be discounted since it's already the end of March. I like to order from calendars.com because they have a large variety of choices. Just don't get too caught up in the pictures so you end up forgetting to get something that will actually be useful!

That's it for today my jumbled friends! Talk to you again real soon. . . Have a fantabulous day!

When Disaster Strikes. . . Or Does It?

I've decided to write a post today to make everyone feel better about their lives and homes. This is going to take a lot of courage, because we all go through this life trying to put our "best foot forward" and keep our struggles and weaknesses to ourselves. That is a good strategy in many ways. It is helpful for forming relationships, getting a job, "keeping up with the Joneses" and many other things. But it has a destructive side too.

When we think that everyone around us has a "perfect" life, and only see the parts of other people's lives that make them look amazing, we can get quite discouraged. And it's especially destructive because what we are seeing from the "outside" is not usually the truth at all. In fact, it very seldom is the entire story.

I was having a discussion about this the other day with a couple of friends, and it was very therapeutic for everyone in the conversation to realize that we were all "normal", and that we didn't need to hide behind this wall of perfection just so others would accept us.

That said, there is a time and place for everything. No one wants to hang around someone who brings them down or makes them feel sorry for them. No one likes to hear someone complain all the time. At the same time, no one wants to be around someone who is always bragging either. In fact, as in many many things in this life, there is one extreme on the right and one extreme on the left, and the truth lies somewhere in between.

And so, for the sake of truth and encouragement, I am going to show you some pictures of what my house looks like this morning, after a very fun weekend (gulp). Yeah. I am. Everyone knows that a picture is worth a thousand words, right? And after all, I'm short on time this morning, so here goes. . .

The Den. . . 

The Family Bathroom. . .

Content Filtering Using Your Wireless Router

This is such great information. I found out that just using the wireless router that I already have installed in my home, I can login to the settings and block certain categories to keep my kids safe from pornography and other harmful stuff! And it works not just on one computer, but all ALL the devices in your home that use the wireless internet through that router. devices! 


It's a little techie to set up, but not too bad. The hardest part is figuring out how to login to your router. I learned how to do mine from my brother-in-law, you basically enter the "URL" of your router into your address bar, then put in your password and open it up.

Once you get into your router settings, everything else is pretty easy to figure out. If you don't get it right away, do a little googling to figure it out, or send me a note and I'll see if I can help you. 

It's SO worth it to find this out - you can actually see every website opened by anyone using your wireless router, in real time. So you can make sure no one is browsing in the middle of the night, or see if your teen is really doing their chores or watching Netflix on their phone, hee hee (not that any of my kids would ever do that of course. . . .) 

Now remember, my jumbled friends, that with authority and power comes responsibility. As parents we need to balance our desire to keep our children safe with our respect for them as individuals, and trust as much as we can, only checking up when they give us reason to not trust them. And let them know you are doing it. That's my philosophy - be open with the kids about why you are restricting certain things and then LISTEN to their feedback. Depending on the age and maturity level of your child, there may be some things that you would automatically restrict without realizing that they are actually quite enjoyable for your child and not harmful like you assumed. So - LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN!

Here's some great counsel on the subject:

"We have learned by sad experience that it is the nature and disposition of almost all men, as soon as they get a little authority, as they suppose, they will immediately begin to exercise unrighteous dominion. . . . No power or influence can or ought to be maintained . . . only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned; By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile— Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy; That he may know that thy faithfulness is stronger than the cords of death." 
~ (Doctrine and Covenants 121:39-44)

Consistency May Not Be the Rule - But it Does Have a Place

Okay, so up until now I've mostly written about my tendency to jump from one project or idea to another, but I haven't given many details about the things that I'm either naturally consistent on, or that I've learned to be consistent on because they are so important.

Especially with a mind that loves to think of new things and maybe has trouble focusing for long on one thing, I've found it's so important to create little rules, routines & schedules for myself, even if I don't follow them perfectly. Because of my hard efforts over several decades, there are a handful of things that I have become very consistent on that I believe are the foundation from which my family and I can thrive. This is despite the undisciplined periods in between!

• Family Scripture Study - Early morning before school and each evening before bed
• Family Prayer - Morning and night
• Christmas Traditions - I could go on and on about these, but I'll do that next winter. :)
• Family Meal Time - We try to eat dinner together at least half the time, even with crazy schedules
• Be at the Crossroads - This to me means being there when the kids are leaving and coming each day, so I am there to greet them and send them off. (See "To the Mothers in Zion" by Ezra Taft Benson)
• Supporting Clubs and Organizations - like Cub Scouts - these types of organizations help us in the challenging job of raising our families and teaching them how to be good citizens.

These are just a couple of ideas that I've listed - there are hundreds of little things that could be mentioned that are valuable for keeping a family on track. What are some of the traditions and routines your family follows to make sure you keep your life manageable?

Happy New Year!

I bet you all thought I had given up on this blog already, didn't you? HA! Not me! Not this time! At least not this year, that's for sure! ;) Haha, pretty funny, eh?

I love saying stuff like that during this last week of December. I am always telling people, "See you next year!" and "You won't have to worry about that again until next year!" and so forth. I know, it's corny, but I don't care - it's fun! That's one of the benefits of getting older - refusing to care what others think about what you do, and just being YOURSELF!

So - we have had a marvelous Christmas at the Ward household. Very different in a lot of ways, but oh so wonderful. I will have to write all about it and post-date the entries so they will coordinate with the Christmas holiday dates. I am so excited to take pictures of all the great gifts we exchanged this year, most especially all the homemade ones! Yep, homemade. And that comment has a story behind it.

A few years ago, we decided to do homemade gifts for our "Secret Santa" exchange in our family. We primarily used items from the "wood pile" from a nearby cabinet factory whose owner gave us permission to use some of their scrap wood. So everyone got all excited with hammers & saws and all sorts of things were created! Some of the kids had so much fun that they didn't want to stop with only making something for their "Secret Santa", so they made things for everyone! It was a ton of fun, so the fever kind of caught on, and now often many of our gifts to each other are handmade. It has become one of our favorite parts of the holidays.

The question many readers might be thinking is "How in the world did you find the time to help all your children make gifts for one another?" The answer is simple - I didn't. As a matter of fact, I had heard this idea of a "home-made Christmas" for years and years and thought that while it sounded like a great idea in theory, I had no desire to try it. Why? Because I knew in my heart of hearts, that while it was a noble idea, it would in reality just mean a lot of extra work for Mom as I would end up basically making 8 homemade gifts!

So I put it off and figured it was only a dream for more ambitious Moms than me. More power to those brave enough to try! But  as my children grew, a miracle occurred . . . I found out that my children could actually do things like that on their own! Not only could they, but they would naturally do it as long as I provided opportunities for talent development and plenty of materials to work with. So by the time we actually decided to try it a few years ago, I really only had to help my youngest with his gift, and everyone else did their own thing. Yay! Freedom!

Now don't think that every gift was made perfectly with all the exact right measurements and materials and instructions. But I did my best to not step in, to just make minor suggestions, and to let them create. After all, isn't that the whole charm of homemade gifts? That stitch out of place, or that less-than-perfect paint job that shows the time your loved-one took to try and make something special for you? Yes! That is truly what it is all about - the love you show as you give a gift from your heart.

I make this point because I know that many Moms feel pretty overwhelmed when their children are young, thinking they need to do *everything* or they won't be a *good Mom*. I remember as a young mother watching a family that had several older children who all played string instruments, so they did a little bluegrass ensemble and sounded really great. I dreamed of something like that for my own children, and worried about how in the world I could ever teach them to do it? I also remember seeing families with teenage children and parents singing together in perfect harmony, and I wondered how much time it would take to teach each of my children their part and get everyone to practice, and still do everything else that needed to be done? And yet, the reason I worried is because I didn't know the secret! If you are a parent of older or grown children, you probably already know the secret. If your kids are still little, do you want to know what it is?

Okay, I'll tell you.
It's this. . .
shhhhhhhh. . .